With a new year upon us, it’s a great time to look at what’s working for us as moms, and what’s not. I am always thinking of ways to improve myself and my family. This usually happens late at night when I can’t sleep, or when I’m in the shower, or when the cat just threw up, I can’t find socks for anyone, and I just dropped my kids off at school 10 minutes late…
Sound familiar? Probably. Because as moms, we typically feel like hot messes more often than not. Why? Why do we always feel like we’re falling short? We are some of the hardest working people I know! The truth is, the fact that we do worry about being good moms means we already are good moms. Let that sink in…
I am not a huge “resolution” maker, but I love how a new year feels like a clean slate. It’s a chance to rewrite a few things if we feel so inspired to… and I like goals, I really do. However, I am also a realist and know that no matter how many times I write down that I am going to:
- declutter my entire house
- alphabetize my spices
- master a 5 minute plank
- do a new Pinterest project every week
It’s probably not going to happen.
This year, I decided it’s ok, because those things actually don’t define being a good mom. Our kids actually don’t care how cute we are, how fit we are, and how Pinterest-y our homes and recipes look. Imagine that.
So, my goals for this year are to focus on things I know my kids do care about, and to focus on ways to find more joy in the daily chaos of raising a family. Here are 5 simple things we can do to bless our families, and ourselves. Some things I already implement and some things I plan on doing more of. I hope you’ll join me.
1. Spontaneous Hugging
When my kids were younger (they’re 8 through 16 now) it was so easy to give them lots of hugs because they climbed up into my lap all the time! Our days were full of hugs and cuddles. Now that they are all older and in school, those opportunities don’t come around as often. Just because they’re older doesn’t mean they don’t still need (and crave) that physical touch. I have had to actively make sure I’m squeezing hugs and physical touch into their day, and usually I will just be silly about it. The other day we were grocery shopping and my 13-year-old daughter gave me that “ugh mom, you’re so annoying” look and I grabbed her and gave her the biggest bear hug in the middle of the aisle. It was so spontaneous that we started laughing hysterically. We got a few stares, but knowing she will have memories like that in her teen years is worth it.
2. Laugh With My Kids More
Life gets serious, we all know this. We’ve got appointments, meetings, deadlines, homework, bills… the daily grind of life wears on us, and it can also wear on our kids. Don’t let it! I am a parent and a wife and an employee and a church leader, but I am also silly and fun and spontaneous and my kids see that side of me ALL the time, because I let them. Ask any of my kids, and they will tell you I throw dance parties in the kitchen, sing at the top of my lungs in the car, and crack jokes relentlessly. My 8-year-old son and I stayed up late last night taking selfies of ourselves, and we laughed so hard we cried. Those are the memories I want my kids to have. I want them to see that despite the responsibilities of daily life, we can (and should) find JOY in any situation.
3. Create Regular Mini Traditions
Recently my son made a comment about how much he loves Christmas because it has a “cozy” feeling. I thought about that and realized besides the true meaning of Christmas, it’s also likely because of the traditions we have as a family. Putting up the tree, making gingerbread houses and cookies, listening to Christmas music, and playing games. These are all things we do together, and because the kids expect them each year, it brings comfort to them and unity to our family. We can have that feeling all year by practicing mini-traditions, even if it’s as simple as Family Game Night on Mondays, or Taco Tuesdays! Give the kids something to look forward to on a regular basis that will also strengthen family relationships.
4. Point Out The Good Things
This is one thing I want to do more of this year. Don’t underestimate how tough your child’s day can be, especially when they are at school. They have peer pressure, deadlines, homework (and hormones) to deal with, and they are handling it all the best they can. The last thing they need when they get home is more pressure, more criticism, more sarcasm, etc. There may be some days where you literally are their only cheerleader in life. Don’t take that role lightly. When they achieve something, shout it from the rooftops! Tell them how awesome, amazing, honest, hardworking they are. Make them feel like they can conquer the world, and they will.
5. Be realistic
We’re going to have rough parenting days. Days where we want to roll our eyes, yell at the kids, complain and whine about how hard it is to be a parent. Don’t let those days define you. Hug it out, talk it out and move on. Vent to your friends, through social media, lock yourself in the closet with chocolate for 20 minutes and let it go. Continue on, and be grateful you have these little ones to share your life with. No one will ever love you as much as they love you. Cherish it!
How about you? What resolutions can you make to add more joy to your relationship with your kids? Comment below!
