If you are a Stay at Home Mom, please stop saying it is a career or a job. Yes, it is a lot of work and there is a lot of sacrifice. However, being a SAHM is a gift and a lifestyle choice and most definitely worth it for many parents. I was a SAHM for ten years and I understand both sides of the debate. When I read this article by Liz Pardue Shultz about being a SAHM, I had to agree with her.
She explains how she came to be a parent, what played a factor in her decision to be a SAHM, and how she felt about other moms she came in contact with.
“Sure, parenting is hard work, but so is going camping or throwing a party for a friend; I don’t go around calling those things my “jobs.” And FUN FACT: While there are obviously labor-intensive tasks involved with running a household like cleaning and cooking, those are things every person has to do (or pay someone else to do) regardless of their status as parents, and they don’t define our life’s work.”
Isn’t that the truth? Why are we trying to say something that everyone has to do, run a home, is a job? We all have unique situations that allow us to be parents. While we may not all be SAH parents, we all have children to care for and bring up.
One thing that Shultz nails down is the attitude of some moms she met who were also privileged enough to stay at home with their children. These women complained about their children and their spouses. She called them martyrs and that is exactly what they are. They believe they give up so much to stay home with their children.
“The truth is, for every mother who is happy with her choice to be a stay-at-home mother, there are at least three who are using its tribulations as a means to smugly declare their superiority to anyone within earshot.”
Do women or men who stay home with their children really need to justify their choice to working parents? Is being a SAHM really a job or a lifestyle choice? What do you say?
***Why do we feel the need to compete? Why can’t we respect each other’s choices and work together to bring up the best children possible?
Are you trying to start a poo storm in the comments section? Seriously? Sure, not every stay at home parent is in my shoes, but when my husband and I chose to have me stay home with our son, we’ve been saddled with a serious amount of financial hardship. The struggle is real. We realized that the struggle would be not worth it there other way around if I went to work, so at home I stay. I don’t feel superior to anybody – and if there’s any woman out there that thinks that’s what I’m about, it’s because she’s looking for someone to accuse her of being a selfish person. I don’t feel superior. I feel isolated, lonely, and sometimes downright bored. I feel like the stuff I have to do around the house is never done and like no matter what I do with anything I try, it’s never enough – and I think there’s a huge line of women behind me that are saying the exact same thing no matter what they do with their lives. Don’t accuse 3 out of 4 stay at home moms of being whiny martyrs with a superiority complex. It isn’t fair. Sweep around your own front door, lady.
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