When Rob and Linda Robertson found out their son, Ryan was gay, they vowed to help him change. Ryan was 12-years-old when he told his parents that he was gay. They were Christians and felt in their hearts he was wrong and could change.
On her blog, Mom, Linda wrote, “Basically, we told our son that he had to choose between Jesus and his sexuality.” They forced him to go to “reparative therapy.” He met with their pastor every week. Ryan was told to fight his feelings.
For six years, Ryan tried, but just before his 18th birthday, he ran away from home. His mother said he was looking for peace. He began using drugs and did reconcile with his parents. However, he relapsed and overdosed. He was in the hospital for 17 days, in a coma, before he died. His mother wrote “suddenly our fear of Ryan someday having a boyfriend (a possibility that honestly terrified me) seemed trivial in contrast to our fear of Ryan’s death.”
The Washington couple now speaks, openly, about their experiences. “Now, when I think back on the fear that governed all my reactions during those first six years after Ryan told us he was gay, I cringe as I realize how foolish I was. I was afraid of all the wrong things.” They are working to help other Christians. They’ve started a gay and lesbian support group at their church and have allied with the LGBTQ community.
“And I grieve, not only for my oldest son, who I will miss every day for the rest of my life, but for the mistakes I made. I grieve for what could have been, had we been walking by faith instead of by fear.”
