No doubt we live in a society that has ‘brainwashed’ many women into thinking that “perfection” equals happiness. Women everywhere look to Pinterest for the perfect recipe, outfit, hairstyle, party, kitchen decor and workout to get their body in tip-top shape, and why? Does stressing out over our appearance and lifestyle really equate to peace and happiness? It’s not to say that people who do and are these things aren’t happy, but as women our journey’s are different and our paths to happiness are not the same. We must not assume that what makes “her” happy will do the same for us.
Joni Edelman, a mom of five, recently wrote, “Happiness does not require thinness. Fatness does not presume sadness.”
Her essay, “I’m Fat and I’m Happy” has gone viral as her message is ringing true for many women. Joni has been on both sides of the fence. At 35 she was the most fit and thin she had been in her entire life. At a size 4 she turned heads wherever she went. She also ate 1000 calories a day, stressed about every morsel she put in her mouth, ran 35 miles a week, and slept an average of 3 hours a day. She confesses she was not happy.
“It made me obsessed with my workouts, with how much time I could fit in at the gym between taking care of three small kids and working 12-hour overnight shifts. It made me Google every food for its calorie content. It made me eat food I hated (rice cakes, spray-on butter) and avoid food I loved (mostly cake). All of that made me thin.”
Edelman now 40, self professes to be overweight, but she says her state of mind is much different.
“…But now, I see dramatic changes not only in my body, but also in my mind. There is a stillness, a joy, and a peace I’ve never had. It’s worth 10 pounds. Ten pounds are insignificant when compared to my willingness to let some things go, to sit with my kids, to sleep. Try this at home: Be fat and happy. Be unapologetically fat. Wear a bikini, and mean it. Eat pizza and ice cream and enjoy it. Drink up your life and a bottle of wine, and make no apologies.”
Her essay isn’t pleasing moms everywhere. She has had some backlash, but for the most part her message is being received in a positive light. She is not condemning moms who are fit and thin, she is simply telling moms who aren’t that it doesn’t equate to happiness. You can read Joni’s essay in it’s entirety here.
What are your thoughts?
