I have three children in school now. One is always super talkative about her day when she comes home. I know who she ate lunch with, what her teachers said/did, friendship drama and what her best friend wore. I love that she’s so communicative, but alas, every child is different. I also have two others who I have to pry a little a lot to get any information out of them! It’s not that they’re secretive, just that they would rather spend their time doing something else. As their parent, it’s important to me that I know about their day. It’s a time to find out about how they feel, what they’re concerned about, and all the good and bad things they have to deal with on a daily basis. Talking about your child’s day with them is a great way to bond, and a great way to validate them as well. Sometimes as parents we have to pry a little deeper than “How was your day?”, because let’s face it – most kids are still learning how to communicate their feelings. They need a little help! Here are some tips to keep in mind when asking your child about school:
- Ask open-ended questions. If you ask a question that can be answered with one word (yes or no) you will probably get a one word answer. Example: “Did you have a good day?” Yes…
- State facts before asking a question to ease in to it. Example: You have gym at a different time this year. What’s that like?
- Avoid using negative/positive words and phrases in your questions – you want your child to lead the tone of the conversation, not you.
Here are some examples of open-ended questions that should guarantee more then a yes or no answer from your child. Try jotting down more questions that come to mind before your kids get home from school. They make great conversation starters and good dinner talk! They will also give you a better idea of what your child is experiencing on a daily basis.
- What was the best part of your day? What was the worst?
- Who did you sit with at lunch today? What did you talk about?
- What games did you play at recess?
- What’s something silly that happened today?
- If I called your teacher, what do you think she would say about you?
- What was the most boring moment of your day?
- Who’s the funniest person in your class? Why?
- What was your favorite part of lunch?
- If you could trade seats with someone in class who would it be? Why?
- What did you learn today?
- If you could make the rules in class, what would they be?
- How did you help someone today?
If you suspect your child is having social issues at school with friends, or is experiencing bullying, focus on questions that deal with less structured times like lunch and recess. “What did most kids do at recess today?” or “Is there anyone that could have used a time out today? Why?”
Sometimes it just takes a little creativity and persistence to get your child talking. Starting this habit now will also help your child come to you as they grow older! (and we all want that!)
