I finally got close enough to my face in the mirror to see how offensive my eyebrows were and noticed a nose hair long enough to floss my teeth with. How long had this been going on??
My son turned 2 the end of October and I’m expecting another boy late January. So being 9 months pregnant, there are growing pains…literally! My belly got bigger faster, I definitely know when I am having Braxton Hicks, and my boobs grew exponentially bigger and quicker than last time. Plus my hips feel like they’re widening greater than the Nile and, what I affectionately refer to as my “vagina bone,” feels like it’s creating a canal for baby human to enter the world far earlier than the books say it should be. I sleep on 5 pillows at night to stay elevated to avoid heartburn.
Growing pains…they seem much more pronounced this pregnancy or maybe it’s because I’m in my mid-30’s and chasing a very active little boy. Regardless of any changes caused to my body, the changes are such a joy. It’s the kind of elation that makes my heart swell with adoration and brings tears to my eyes knowing I’ll soon get to meet this little boy and whisper into his sweet little ears how much I have loved him for all these months. My belly rubs will become back and butt rubs, and all the worrying will be erased with kisses to his little cheeks. Tiny diapers, tiny onesies, tiny hands to wrap around my finger…joy beyond measure.
Thoughts of having a second child keep me awake at night. I remember how much I held my first. He was constantly in my arms and I fretted about how much he was eating, sleeping, etc. Before he arrived, all his clothes were washed and organized, and every bit of baby necessities orderly and ready on hand. This time, I feel ready and haven’t done a thing!
I worry if my first will be given enough time and attention. Will he be jealous of baby #2? How will we all adjust? When will I shower? When will I get my workouts in? How long until I venture out of the house with two little humans in tow?
We all have Mom friends and non-Mom friends. My non-Mom friends go wide-eyed, shake their heads and say, “You’re going to have your hands full!” My Mom friends give me a confident gaze and say, “You’ll do it. And you’ll do it well.”
None of us are reinventing the wheel, but that doesn’t make our concerns any less relevant. We all question our abilities and capacity for everything being a Mom entails. Our strength can come from each others at times; but with time and experience, our strength comes from within. It comes from a place deep within that urges us to be the best for our babies because they deserve it. They ask us to be our best; they need us to be our best.
Here’s the top 5 changes I’ll make:
1. Household chores/duties can wait. Pick the top priorities and crunch it into 5-10 minute increments of cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc.
2. It’s ok to say no. Social niceties don’t measure up to time with my husband and babies. Friends can come to me or wait until I’m ready.
3. Be OK with not getting it right EVERYDAY. Each day will be different…be OK with knowing some days will just SUCK.
4. Keep the 1st born involved in “helping” with the new baby. I’ve heard and read not to keep 1st born away from baby, but keep them involved to avoid feelings of separation and alienated from Mom, which also cultivates acceptance of the new baby.
5. Ask for help. This one is the big kahuna. Who wants to admit they can’t do it? Asking for help isn’t waiving a white flag; it’s just saying I need a hand.
Toast to the New Year and toast to growing pains pre and post baby human #2!
