How often does your kid come home from school and you ask, “How was your day?” only to get a one word response like, “OK”. Or maybe you ask, “What did you learn today?” and get, “Nothing”. I know these are the responses I get when I ask my daughter these questions, so why do I bother? Well, because I care about her and I want to know the answers. I want to know who my child is.
Now, let’s turn the table. How well do your children know you? I mean really know you. Do you share with them your goals? I do. I want my children to not only appreciate that I work hard, but also share with me in my successes and learn with me from my failures. How about when you are sad or afraid? Of course, by no means would I suggest we instill undo fear into our kids, but if you are afraid you may not make a deadline at work and you have been a little on edge because of it, do you share that with them? I want my children to know who I am as a person just as I want to know them. If I am stressed out, they will feel it, so I try and explain to them why so they don’t inadvertently think it is something they have done or that I am mad at them. I am honest with them if I am sad so they understand it is natural to have those emotions. When I am excited about something I ask them to share it with me and explain why it is important to me, just as when they are excited about something I ask them to explain what makes them feel that way.
So how do we engage our family and move past the one-word answers? When they bring home school assignments ask about them. Ask what they learned, what inspired the drawing, what their favorite part was and so on. Another great way to open up conversation is to have one question a day that everyone participates in. Start by going around at dinnertime and asking open-ended questions that will start conversation. Here are some examples:
1)What was the best part of your day and why?
2)What are you looking forward to most this week and why?
3)What games did you play at recess?
I always try to ask questions that I can answer as well, again, because I want my children to know me just as much as I want to know them. Remember to actively listen to them when they are speaking to you and ask secondary questions to continue with the conversation. You’ll be surprised how much you learn about your family and how connected you become just by asking one question a day together.
| Jessica is a proud mother of three – a 3 year old boy/tasmanian devil, a 7 year old daughter, and a thirties something husband (just joking Danny). I’m a homemaker, a life-long student and a business owner. I’m a native to Colorado and love to be out in all of the beautiful scenes that Colorado has to offer – whether by myself, with my family and/or with my camera. If you enjoyed Jessica’s posts check our her business page www.jessicanewmanphotography.com & make sure to like her on Facebook.
<strong><em>Check out other posts by our My719Mommy blogger Jessica!</em></strong> |
