Not all children naturally love school, in fact for many it’s a struggle and for a variety of reasons. My son is about to start the 4th grade and getting him out of bed on school mornings is the equivalent to giving a cat a bath. It’s painful for everyone!
His test scores are very high, but he rushes through his assignments. His work is typically sloppy or incomplete and his teacher recently told me he daydreams. A lot. His school work is suffering because of these habits. We are concerned he is bored and not being challenged enough, and now we are deciding what the next step is. He’s bright, but he doesn’t like school. It’s a bit of a challenge!
Perhaps you have a child in a similar boat, or maybe they’re having issues with bullies, teachers, friends, or perhaps they have an undiagnosed learning disability. All of these situations can make school a very difficult place to be. If your child isn’t very vocal about their frustrations it can be hard to know there’s even an issue. Chances are most kids will struggle with school at one point or another, but it’s important to recognize when intervention needs to take place. Here are some signs to watch for:
- Your child doesn’t want to discuss school: If they seem uncomfortable or fidgety when you bring up school, or they avoid discussing it altogether.
- They become more needy: If your child is typically independent but suddenly starts acting more needy and dependent, this could be their way of expressing anxiety.
- They start having anger issues: When children are irritated or frustrated it can surface as anger. If your child suddenly becomes more aggressive, especially immediately before or after school this can be a warning sign.
- Your child becomes distant or depressed: If your child acts more tired, distant, and is generally down, their eating habits change, and/or they are sleeping more than usual, this is definitely something to visit your pediatrician about. It’s also important to distinguish if school is the issue or if it’s clinical depression that possibly requires therapy and/or medication.
Ok, so you’ve identified that something is wrong at school, so what’s the next step?
- Tanya Mitchell, mother of four children, a cognitive skills training expert, and vice president of research and development for LearningRx.com, says, “The root cause of many learning struggles is weak cognitive skills. These underlying mental tools make up IQ and include memory, attention, logic and reasoning, visual and auditory processing and processing speed. Signs of weak cognitive skills include difficulty paying attention or focusing; low test scores, grades or reading comprehension; frustration with learning tasks; poor memory; trouble remembering multi-step directions at school or home; taking a long time to complete tasks, tests and homework; careless mistakes, and anxiety over going to school or mystery illnesses on test days.” If you suspect your child may be suffering in school due to a cognitive weakness, you can go to LearningRx.com, a local service, for a free online evaluation. There are also a few locations in Colorado.
- Communication and knowledge of what your child should be able to master at his/her age level are two keys to help to determine if your child is falling behind in school, according to Jennifer Brannon, a special education teacher for a virtual public school. She says, “Communicate with your child’s teacher and let them know you desire the same in return. Google the educational standards covered by your child’s state/grade to get an idea of what they should be able to master last year, this year and next year. If you’re working closely with your child and reviewing homework, you’ll see where they are falling short.”
- Jolyn Brand, an independent education consultant, says parents should not delay if they suspect their child may be struggling in school. She says, “Too many parents wait until the ‘signs’ of failure have already caused the child too much frustration. At this point, getting the child motivated and engaged is the first battle. Instead, parents should seek help at the first signs of struggle, which include frustration every evening during homework time, papers coming home with failing grades or constant ‘re-dos,’ or the child expressing that he just doesn’t ‘get it’. The child’s teacher should be the first source for help. If he or she can’t offer private assistance, an independent tutor or tutoring center can help the child get back on track.”
- Work closely with your child’s teacher and principal if you’ve discovered unresolved issues with bullying or classmates. Most schools have a zero tolerance policy for bullying and take seriously any concerns a parent has.
- If you’re not happy with your current school or program, take initiative and research other options including private schools, charter schools and homeschooling programs.
You will always be your child’s voice and number one advocate. Don’t give up. With some determination and patience you can find the root cause of any issue and make the necessary changes that will help your child succeed and thrive!
